Feminism

Feminism, by definition, is "the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men". While this definition clearly point out the criteria of feminism in the literal sense, I agree with author Roxane Gay's preferred definition, first said by Kathy Bail, which is: "'women who don't want to be treated like sh*t.'" In Gay's Bad Feminist essay, she reflects on what society sees as "essential feminism," and how putting a label with a negative association in society today leaves no wiggle room for advocates to express their own individuality. Women are already categorized and forced into certain archetypes based on weight, appearance, lack of or too much makeup, sexual orientation, gender orientation, and so many others. Why, then, should feminism be seen as just women being angry and uncooperative, when it has been a social movement from the nineteenth century onwards for the equality of both men, women, and those who fall in between?

Gay describes how feminism has taken on a cringeworthy aspect to it. She says that, "I sometimes cringe when someone refers to me as a feminist, as if I should be ashamed of my feminism or as if the word feminist is an insult". Gay clearly states how she has been reduced to something shameful. I am afraid of the word feminist at times. I have read stories, including this essay, where once the author admits to being a part of this equality-driven movement, the person they are speaking with normally sneers or gives a look clearly implying that being a feminist is the exact opposite of what a woman wants to be. All it does is add more to labels; we have so many labels on each other that our individuality drowns in stereotypes. I am glad that Gay included this in her essay because feminists are called out on their passion by people who immediately want to put them down as the "'angry feminist'".

Gay also touches upon the "fear of being forced into a box that cannot quite accomodate a woman properly." She reveals that she loves the color pink and that she knows absolutely nothing about cars. In society's eyes, this is seen as something strange because feminists have to be to do it all to be considered equal or good. She goes on to say that she listens to rap music that has lyrics that offend her personally but she listens anyway because she loves that music. Gay likes men, she wants a child, and she wants to be able to keep her job without having to constantly be strong and unemotional to keep her respect and authority among her coworkers. Gay is a human being. Human beings cannot fit into a certain mold and just accept every single thing that they are supposedly "meant to be like" and they cannot deny the emotions that are meant to keep their mental stability intact. Gay does not need to know how to fix a car to be able to be called feminist. Gay should not have to hand over her job that she loves to take on motherhood and never look back. This is the reality that feminists face every day. There always has to be a choice, whether it be a child over a job, makeup over none, or even black over pink as a favorite color. We need to stop using the simplest things as a ways of attacking another person into conforming with the steroetypes placed on us.

There should also be men given the rights that women currently have, few as they may be. Women are allowed to be emotional and to express their feelings. The acceptance of these emotions has gotten to a point where a man showing emotion or crying is seen as being "feminine". Why should a man, performing a natural bodily response to something such as pain or stress,  have to hide and bottle up these feelings? Why should men lashing out at a lover or a family member after bottling up all of these emotions for months or even years been seen as something commonplace while women can rid themselves of their emotional baggage more easily? If men want to be able to have the right to do what is seen as something completely natural to women, then they need to join the feminist movement. Hyper masculinity may have (doesn't have any) perks, being macho can only carry one so far until they break down completely. I think that in order to reach the equality that we desire as women, we need to promise equality for men as well and get them to join our cause.